Breakin' the law

It would seem I'm a municipal law breaker, and a habitual one at that.

According to an article in this week's Manchester Express, as of late I have been breaking the law some three times a week. So too have most of the two dozen or so folks with whom I have been training for the Manchester Half Marathon.

The broken law to which I refer is Manchester ordinance 130.05, which forbids anyone from running or jogging on city streets "without wearing appropriately colored clothing, such as orange, so as to be clearly visible to motorists during daylight hours."

Before you laugh, you might want to peruse the rest of our city's "general offenses" to make sure that you, too, are not a Queen City criminal. The last thing I want is for you to have to live with the regret and remorse I've been forced to endure these past few days since learning of my criminal activity.

For example, have you ever sung or repeated "or cause to be sung or repeated, any lewd, obscene or profane song or word"? If so, my friend,  you're a law breaker according to city ordinance 130.20.

To stay on the right side of Chapter 130 of the Manchester City Ordinances, you'd better make sure that you also do not:

• throw a snowball in any "street, lane or public square in the compact part of the city" (130.20);
• skinny dip "within view of any dwelling house or of any road or public street in the daytime" (130.06); 
• make any "brawl or tumult in the city" (130.22);
• "wantonly injure any trees or shrubs or bushes" (130.36)'
• "rob any garden or field of fruit and vegetables" (130.37); and
• whatever you do, don't, "without lawful permission, climb on or over any fence of any garden or yard" (130.38).

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